So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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