his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
