In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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