no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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