Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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