so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there is glitter all over my balls
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