Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
