God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize