Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
