she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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