I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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