I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
