apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
