I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
