My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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