..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
