Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
