Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
