I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
