i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
