Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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