If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
