her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
