to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
