I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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