But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize