That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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