My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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