3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
