Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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