i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize