I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
