I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize