Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm passing your future prison.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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