do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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