so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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