Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
