The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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