I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
