We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize