She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
