i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
