Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
