Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
