Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
