I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
