Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
