Soap is not a condiment
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
