you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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