Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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