I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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