am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize