It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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