I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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