So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
