I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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