My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
