Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
