The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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