i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
